Exercise helps keep you fit. It also improves circulation and muscle tone and staves off the ageing process. Good news is that sex provides almost all the same benefits as regular exercise, without having to hit the treadmill. It increases circulation and metabolism and burns about 30 calories for 20 minutes of reasonably active sex. That means in an hour you’ve burnt off a glass of wine or a couple of biscuits.
Psychological theories exist regarding the development and expression of gender differences in human sexuality. A number of them, including neo-analytic theories, sociobiological theories, social learning theory, social role theory, and script theory, agree in predicting that men should be more approving of casual sex (sex happening outside a stable, committed relationship such as marriage) and should also be more promiscuous (have a higher number of sexual partners) than women. These theories are mostly consistent with observed differences in males' and females' attitudes toward casual sex before marriage in the United States; other aspects of human sexuality, such as sexual satisfaction, incidence of oral sex, and attitudes toward homosexuality and masturbation, show little to no observed difference between males and females. Observed gender differences regarding the number of sexual partners are modest, with males tending to have slightly more than females.
It really is a case of use it or lose it. And having sex at least once a week will keep your hormones, heart and brain in top condition. And the more you have, the better the benefits. Men who have sex three or more times a week reduce their risk of heart attack or stroke by 50%. It’s largely a myth that sex can trigger heart attacks, but if you’re worried, don’t overdo the aerobics and you’ll still get the benefit of powerful relaxation hormones. Regular sex releases ‘feel good’ Endorphins at any age, as well as easing stress.
Ian Kerner, the New York sex therapist, told me that he works with a lot of men who would like to perform oral sex but are rebuffed by their partner. “I know the stereotype is often that men are the ones who don’t want to perform it, but I find the reverse,” he said. “A lot of women will say when I’m talking to them privately, ‘I just can’t believe that a guy wants to be down there, likes to do that. It’s the ugliest part of my body.’ ” When I asked 20-somethings about oral sex, a pretty sizable minority of women sounded a similar note. “Receiving makes me nervous. It feels more intimate than penetration,” wrote one woman. “I become so self-conscious and find it difficult to enjoy,” wrote another.
Over the course of many conversations with sex researchers, psychologists, economists, sociologists, therapists, sex educators, and young adults, I heard many other theories about what I have come to think of as the sex recession. I was told it might be a consequence of the hookup culture, of crushing economic pressures, of surging anxiety rates, of psychological frailty, of widespread antidepressant use, of streaming television, of environmental estrogens leaked by plastics, of dropping testosterone levels, of digital porn, of the vibrator’s golden age, of dating apps, of option paralysis, of helicopter parents, of careerism, of smartphones, of the news cycle, of information overload generally, of sleep deprivation, of obesity. Name a modern blight, and someone, somewhere, is ready to blame it for messing with the modern libido.
This brings us to fertility-challenged Japan, which is in the midst of a demographic crisis and has become something of a case study in the dangers of sexlessness. In 2005, a third of Japanese single people ages 18 to 34 were virgins; by 2015, 43 percent of people in this age group were, and the share who said they did not intend to get married had risen too. (Not that marriage was any guarantee of sexual frequency: A related survey found that 47 percent of married people hadn’t had sex in at least a month.)
Outside of government, both sexes seem to be waging a war on the post-2008 new normal. — James Freeman, WSJ, "Gender, Likability and Opportunity," 7 Jan. 2019 Even if feminism, by definition, means political, economic, and social equality of the sexes—and who can’t get behind that?—the term has attached to it a stigma of chilliness, prudishness, humorlessness. — Lili Anolik, Harper's BAZAAR, "How Eve Babitz Is Becoming an Unlikely Icon for Millennial Women," 24 Jan. 2019 Most history-conscious people in America and across the world know, for instance, the story of the My Lai Massacre of March 1968, when U.S. troops murdered at least 504 Vietnamese people of all ages and both sexes. — Max Hastings, WSJ, "The Hidden Atrocities of the Vietnam War," 4 Oct. 2018 Forget xoxo as the new exclamation point—was the email sign-off the new sparring ground for the battle of the sexes? — Chloe Schama, Vogue, "“XOXO”: What Does Your Email Sign-Off Say About You?," 20 Sep. 2018 The gynandromorph, as it is known, has a mixture of male and female genes and expresses traits from both sexes. — Jason Daley, Smithsonian, "Rare Yellow Cardinal Spotted at Alabama Bird Feeder," 27 Feb. 2018 Christopher Kane is not put off by sex’s sorta-bad name. — Steff Yotka, Vogue, "The Joys of Sex, According to Christopher Kane," 26 Sep. 2018 This may be due in part to neurotransmitters acting differently in people of different sexes. — Nina Bahadur, SELF, "9 Facts to Know About Schizophrenia, Which Is Way Too Misunderstood," 15 Sep. 2018 The juvenile fish, whose sexes still have not been determined, were using all their energy in futile attempts to stay above the floor of their habitat. — Karin Brulliard, The Seattle Times, "To save fish that can’t swim, veterinarian made them tiny floaties," 4 Sep. 2018
Is There Still Sex in the City is set to be released by Grove Press on August 6, 2019. It follows Bushnell’s piercing, sly, and sometimes heartbreaking look at sex, dating, and friendship in New York City after 50. Set between the Upper East Side of Manhattan and a country enclave known as The Village, the book looks at love and life from all angles—marriage and children, divorce and bereavement, as well as the very real pressures on women to maintain their youth and have it all.
Believe it or not, many people (and this includes women) don't kiss their partner when they're having sex. Why? Perhaps because the positioning doesn't allow for it or they are too eager to climax and feel that it might break the rhythm. Nevertheless, it is highly recommended that you make an effort to kiss your partner during the act – it will only add to the experience.